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Today's jokes [11.14.12]

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"I can't find a cause for your illness," the doctor said. "Frankly, 
I think it's due to drinking."

"In that case," replied his blonde patient, "I'll come back when 
you are sober."

1. 




A rancher from Central Arizona died and went on to the Great Beyond. As he
approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no
greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, "Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this
looks just like Arizona." "The gatekeeper replied, "First of all, I'm not
Saint Peter...and second, you really don't know where you are at all, do 
you?"

2. 




   While your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door:
   Congratulations! You've won one free game of Toilet Tennis!
   Look Left.
   You look left and it reads:
   Look Right
   You look right and it reads:
   Look Left...


3. 




Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying
DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a
harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.

He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware
of?"

"Yep, that's him," he replied.

The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like
a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

"Because", the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept
tripping over him."

4. 




What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico?

"Attention K-Mart shoppers..."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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