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Today's poems [10.23.12]

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A cautious young husband named Rafe 
            Used to diddle his wife with a safe. 
                Thus he thwarted God's wishes 
                And fed his pet fishes, 
            Which he kept in a bedside carafe. 

1. 




               A depraved old Jew from Estretto 
               Buggered every young man in the ghetto. 
                    He once had his hose in 
                    A musician, composing, 
               Who said: "Not so slow---allegretto!" 

(Yeah, I know it's nasty...)

2. 




There was an old maid in Van Nuys 
               Who went crazy from making mud pies. 
                    She would fill them with farts 
                    And pickled beef-hearts, 
               And bake them between her fierce thighs. 

3. 




On his honeymoon sailing the ocean 
               A tightwad displayed much emotion 
                    When he learned, one fine day, 
                    He'd been fucking away 
               What could have been bottled as lotion. 

4. 




A prudish young damsel named Rose 
               Is particular how men propose. 
                    To "Let's have intercourse," 
                    She says gaily, "Of course," 
               But to "Let's fuck," she turns up her nose, 

5. 



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