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Today's jokes [10.20.12]

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   Two lesbians were standing at a bar drinking when another girl waved
   from across the bar.
   "Who is that babe?" one said to the other. "I'd sure like to get her
   spread out on my
   sheets." "No you wouldn't," said the other. "She's hung like a
   doughnut."
   


1. 




Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class,and the teacher says that an
interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter, no other
animal in the world does this.
Johnny's hand shoots up. "Not correct, Miss!" he says.
"Please explain, Johnny," replies the teacher.
"Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat on the verandah. The 
neighbours' Great Dane came around the corner, and my cat went 
"ffffffffff! ffffffffffff! ffffffffff!", and before he could say "FUCK 
OFF!", the dog ate him!"

2. 




A man is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up in a body cast.
One of the nurses gave him a rectal thermometer and said,
"Don't move -- I'll be right back."
When she returned the thermometer was in his mouth. She asked in 
amazement, "How did you get that in your mouth, you can't even move?"
"I hiccupped."

3. 




Here's a pretty nasty one:

Why are they having such a hard time finding a cure for AIDS?

The scientists can't get the mice to butt fuck.

4. 




What happened to the Pope when he visited Mount Olive? 

     - Popeye almost killed him. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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