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Today's jokes [10.15.12]

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   A robber was robbing a house when he heard a voice. "Jesus is watching
   you!" "who's
   there?" The robber said But no sound was heard. So he kept going and
   he heard it two
   more times when he spotted a parrot. "What's your name," the robber
   asked. "Cocodora"
   said the parrot. "Now, what kind of idiot would name a bird Cocodora"
   said the robber.
   "The same idiot who named the rotweiler Jesus", said the parrot.
   


1. 




Academy of Mudgeology



Some selections from our catalog: Course number/Title/(Days/Time)

MUS147  HOW TO HUM: LECTURE AND LAB (MW 10:00-10:50)
HIS024  U.S. HISTORY SINCE ABOUT AN HOUR AGO (TH 12:00-1:15)
GEO222  COUNTRIES THAT ARE ORANGE ON MAPS (MWF 2:00-2:50)
ENG537  SURVEY IN ENG LIT: SIR FRANCIS BACON AND LORD HENRY SAUSAGE
        (MWF 9:00-11:15)
POLS834 U.S. DOMESTIC POLICY: IF FROGS COULD VOTE (TH 1:30-2:45)
ANT248  AMISH PARTY GAMES (W 6:00-8:15)
FR106   ELEMENTARY FRENCH TOAST (MW 8:00-8:50)
COM193  TOPICS FROM "GREEN ACRES": LIFE AND TIMES OF MR. HANEY
        (TU 7:00-9:15)
HIS456  THE HISTORY OF SOUP (TH 9:30-10:45)
CHE546  THE SCIENCE OF PLAY-DOH (MWF 10:00-10:50)
PHI101  THE RAMBLINGS OF DEAD, DRUNKEN PHILOSOPHERS
        (MWF 9:00-9:50)
ARC555  ARCHITECTURE OF THE BRADY BUNCH HOME
        (WTBS 4:35-5:05)
MOO108  THE BOVINE ERA, PART IV: COW HISTORY SINCE 1784
        (TH 5:30-7:15)
ENG327  SHAKESPEAREAN MEMOS, MENUS, AND GROCERY LISTS
        (TH 11:00-12:15)
ANT764  NOMADIC TRIBES OF SUB-SAHARAN AFRICA THAT ARE REALLY JUST LOST
        (MW 3:00-3:50)
MATH001 COMPREHENSIVE STUDY OF THE NUMBER SEVEN
        (TH 9:30-10:45)
POLS497 POLITICAL PARTY ETHICS (M 1:00-1:05)
ARC123  DESIGNING MODERN CITIES USING LEGOS (MWF 2:00-2:50)
MATH198 MATHEMATICS SO HARD THAT NO ONE CAN DO IT (W 6:00-8:30)
COM253  UNDERSTANDING THE PLOT TWISTS IN "MELROSE PLACE"
        (MTWTFSS 9:00-4:15)
A-S546  TOPICS IN MODERN ART: USING A LIVER AS A PAINT BRUSH
        (TH 3:00-4:15)
HPR314  BEGINNING YAHTZEE (MWF 1:00-1:50)
ENG893  THE ROMANTIC PROSE OF BARNEY FIFE (MWF 9:00-9:50)
PHY276  HYPNOTIZING YOUR PETS (TH 2:00-3:15)
TEL115  MUNSTERS/ADDAMS FAMILY: A COMPARISON STUDY
        (M 7:00-9:15)
ENG690  STOOGE CRITICISM: THE SHEMP YEARS  (MWF 10:00-10:50)

Thanks to stampo (genie.com)



2. 




Consider the following:
Female guitar player shouting at her boyfriend in a
crowded shopping mall: "Don't forget, sweetheart,
I need a new G string!"

3. 




An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down 
below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the 
mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the 
mouse says: "Tail gunner to pilot...Tail gunner to pilot.."
The eagle says "what do you want?"
The mouse asks how high up they are.
The eagle thinks for a moment and then says "ohh about 5,000 ft."
The mouse then replies "You wouldn't be shittin me now would ya??"

4. 




Did you hear about the hillbilly who went into the hardware store to
   buy a chain saw ?
   He said I want one that will cut down at least 10 trees a day.
   He was back at the hardware store with the saw a couple days later
   complaining that it only
   cut one tree and that took all day.
   The clerk at the hardware store started the saw to see what the
   problem was.
   The hillbilly jumped back and said what the hell is that noise?
   


5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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