Today's jokes [10.15.12]
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A robber was robbing a house when he heard a voice. "Jesus is watching
there?" The robber said But no sound was heard. So he kept going and
he heard it two
more times when he spotted a parrot. "What's your name," the robber
said the parrot. "Now, what kind of idiot would name a bird Cocodora"
said the robber.
"The same idiot who named the rotweiler Jesus", said the parrot.
Academy of Mudgeology
Some selections from our catalog: Course number/Title/(Days/Time)
MUS147 HOW TO HUM: LECTURE AND LAB (MW 10:00-10:50)
HIS024 U.S. HISTORY SINCE ABOUT AN HOUR AGO (TH 12:00-1:15)
GEO222 COUNTRIES THAT ARE ORANGE ON MAPS (MWF 2:00-2:50)
ENG537 SURVEY IN ENG LIT: SIR FRANCIS BACON AND LORD HENRY SAUSAGE
POLS834 U.S. DOMESTIC POLICY: IF FROGS COULD VOTE (TH 1:30-2:45)
ANT248 AMISH PARTY GAMES (W 6:00-8:15)
FR106 ELEMENTARY FRENCH TOAST (MW 8:00-8:50)
COM193 TOPICS FROM "GREEN ACRES": LIFE AND TIMES OF MR. HANEY
HIS456 THE HISTORY OF SOUP (TH 9:30-10:45)
CHE546 THE SCIENCE OF PLAY-DOH (MWF 10:00-10:50)
PHI101 THE RAMBLINGS OF DEAD, DRUNKEN PHILOSOPHERS
ARC555 ARCHITECTURE OF THE BRADY BUNCH HOME
MOO108 THE BOVINE ERA, PART IV: COW HISTORY SINCE 1784
ENG327 SHAKESPEAREAN MEMOS, MENUS, AND GROCERY LISTS
ANT764 NOMADIC TRIBES OF SUB-SAHARAN AFRICA THAT ARE REALLY JUST LOST
MATH001 COMPREHENSIVE STUDY OF THE NUMBER SEVEN
POLS497 POLITICAL PARTY ETHICS (M 1:00-1:05)
ARC123 DESIGNING MODERN CITIES USING LEGOS (MWF 2:00-2:50)
MATH198 MATHEMATICS SO HARD THAT NO ONE CAN DO IT (W 6:00-8:30)
COM253 UNDERSTANDING THE PLOT TWISTS IN "MELROSE PLACE"
A-S546 TOPICS IN MODERN ART: USING A LIVER AS A PAINT BRUSH
HPR314 BEGINNING YAHTZEE (MWF 1:00-1:50)
ENG893 THE ROMANTIC PROSE OF BARNEY FIFE (MWF 9:00-9:50)
PHY276 HYPNOTIZING YOUR PETS (TH 2:00-3:15)
TEL115 MUNSTERS/ADDAMS FAMILY: A COMPARISON STUDY
ENG690 STOOGE CRITICISM: THE SHEMP YEARS (MWF 10:00-10:50)
Thanks to stampo (genie.com)
Consider the following:
Female guitar player shouting at her boyfriend in a
crowded shopping mall: "Don't forget, sweetheart,
I need a new G string!"
An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down
below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the
mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the
mouse says: "Tail gunner to pilot...Tail gunner to pilot.."
The eagle says "what do you want?"
The mouse asks how high up they are.
The eagle thinks for a moment and then says "ohh about 5,000 ft."
The mouse then replies "You wouldn't be shittin me now would ya??"
Did you hear about the hillbilly who went into the hardware store to
buy a chain saw ?
He said I want one that will cut down at least 10 trees a day.
He was back at the hardware store with the saw a couple days later
complaining that it only
cut one tree and that took all day.
The clerk at the hardware store started the saw to see what the
The hillbilly jumped back and said what the hell is that noise?
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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