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Today's jokes [10.14.12]

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Son : Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he 
told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mum : Well, you have done the right thing.

Son : But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

1. 




Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with
   Monica Lewinsky?
   Pres: Improper? ... Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of
   the the sweetest interns I've ever had.


2. 




"Why do you look so glum today?", the teacher asked young Johnny. 
"I didn't have no breakfast," Johnny mumbled. 
"You poor dear," said the teacher. "Now, to return to our geography 
lesson, Johnny, where is the French border?" 
"In bed with my mom. That's why I didn't have no breakfast." 

3. 




   An elderly couple walk into a doctor's office. The man tells the
   doctor, "Doctor, we want
   to have a baby." The doctor replies,"At your age I don't think it's
   possible, but I'll give
   you a jar, come back in a few days with a sperm sample." So the couple
   comes back a few
   days later.They give the doctor an empty jar. The doctor says,"I was
   afraid of this." The
   old man says,"No, it's not what you think. I tried it with my left
   hand. I tried it with my
   right hand. She tried it with her left hand. She tried it with her
   right hand. She tried it with
   her teeth in. She tried it with her teeth out. But we couldn't get the
   lid off the jar."
   


4. 




Q: What did O.J. say to Goldman when he found him with his ex-wife?

A: Hey pal, mind if I cut in?

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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