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Today's jokes [10.1.12]

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The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined
to track down the father to extract revenge.

"Was it my friend Sam", he demanded.

"No !" his weeping wife replied.

"Was it my friend Jim then?" he asked.

"NO !!!" she said even more upset.

"Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked.

"Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" she snapped. 

1. 




Q: What's the difference between a policeman's knightstick
and a magician's wand?

A: A Magician's wand is for cunning stunts. 



2. 




Jon was looking for a little "action". He picked up a sweet 
young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. 
Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac.

After six times she was screaming for more. After the *eighth* 
time Jon told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of 
cigarettes.

On the way out he stopped in the men's room. He stood in 
front of the urinal, unzipped, and felt a moment of panic that he 
couldn't find "it".

After a couple of minutes "fishing around" he finally said, "Look, 
it's ok. She's not here!"

3. 




What do you call four sheep tied to a post in Cardiff (Wales)?
 A leisure centre. 

4. 




The doctor looked at the woman who had come to him for an examination. 

"Mrs. Brown, I have some good news for you." 

The woman said, "I'm glad to hear that doctor, but I'm Miss Brown, not 
Mrs." 

"Oh. Well, in that case Miss Brown," said the doctor without changing 
expression, "I have some bad news for you."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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