Today's stories [1.23.12]
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A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming
down the aisle he would take two steps, stop and turn to the
crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side).
While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws
and roar. So it went, step, step, "ROAR," step, step, "ROAR,"
all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was
near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed
from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he
reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child
sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."
English comedian John Cleese, of Monty Python fame, was asked to describe
the difference between British and American people. In reply Cleese said
that there were three basic differences from the British viewpoint:
1. "We speak English and you don't."
2. "When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite
teams from other countries to play, as well."
3. "When you meet the head of state in Great Britain, you only have to go
down on one knee."
Can you imagine working for this organization? It has less than 550
employees with the following statistics:
*29 have been accused of spousal abuse
*7 have been arrested for fraud
*19 have been accused of writing bad checks
*117 have bankrupted at least two businesses
*3 have been arrested for assault
*71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
*14 have been arrested on drug related charges
*8 have been arrested for shoplifting
*21 are current defendants in lawsuits
*In 1998 alone, 84 were stopped for drunk driving
Can you guess which organization this is?
It's the 535 members of The United States Congress;
the same group that cranks the laws designed to
keep the rest of us in line.
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