Today's stories [1.22.12]
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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed
firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "goodnight, sleep tight"
In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you
had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family).
When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got the consent of
the King and the King gave them placard that they hung on
their door while they were having sex.
The placard had F. U. C. K. on it
(Fornication Under Consent of the King).
I was at a party this weekend and a jokester, stifling a laugh said,
"Listen to this: One day, Moskowitz and Finkelstein were going to-"
At this, my Jewish friend, Al Cohen said, "Moskowitz
and Finkelstein; Moskowitz and Finkelstein; always two
Jews. Why do they have to be Jewish? Can't you tell the
joke with other nationalities involved? Why don't you
make them Chinese for a change?"
The jokester, sobered and embarrassed, said,
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend. Here's the joke:
One day, Hong-lee Yang and Mao-chen Foo were going to the
synagogue to attend the bar mitzvah of Hong-lee Yang's nephew..."
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