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Today's stories [1.20.12]

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In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of 
the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have 
a baby, they got the consent of the King and the King gave them placard 
that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had 
F. U. C. K. on it (Fornication Under Consent of the King).

1. 




"A Baby Shredder"

A mini shredding machine -- as advertised in the local paper.

2. 




The Wipe-Up

Find a friend who likes to show off or prove himself all the time, then 
tell them you have a test of speed and reaction for them and that you 
think you are faster. what you do is pour some water on a tile floor (a 
puddle about 10" wide works well), grab a fork and a towel and tell them 
you think you can wipe up the water before they poke you with the fork. 
Also tell them that you are really quick and to make it fair they need to 
sit on the floor near the puddle with their legs spread to the sides so 
the puddle is between their knees. Here is where the fun stuff comes in, 
tell them to go on three, then start counting (all the while you are 
holding the towel) one - two - th....grab their feet and drag their ass 
through it

Sent by Keith

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
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This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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