Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's quotes [1.11.12]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.


Last words from a general in the
American Civil War:  "Nonsense!  They couldn't hit an elephant at this
dist--"

1. 




   Sign posted in a bathroom:
   We aim to please!
   You aim too! Please!


  

2. 




   Sign seen at a restaurant:
   The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim
   properly.


  

3. 




Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip.
There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by
the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!" 

     - Rita Rudner

4. 




   Here's one seen above a urinal:
   look up
   look up
   [even higher on the wall]
   keep looking up
   [on the ceiling]
   Quick! Look down! You're pissing on your shoes!


  

5. 



BONUS! A random quote from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Funny Pic

 January '12 Quotes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  
8  9  10 11 12 13 14 
15 16 17 18 19 20 21 
22 23 24 25 26 27 28 
29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.