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Today's jokes [1.7.12]

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Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?

     Finger on chin I don't know. 

     Hits forehead Oh I get it! 

1. 




How does a Russian commit suicide? 
     He smells his armpit 

How does an American commit suicide? 
     He tells this joke to a Russian.
 

2. 




Notice



To make things easier for all of us, please notice this Important Notice
About Notices.  You may have noticed the increased number of notices for you
to notice.  We notice that some of our notices have been noticed. On the
other hand, some of our notices have not been noticed.  This is very
noticeable.  It is noticed that the responses to the notices have been
noticeably unnoticeable.  This notice is to remind you to notice the notices
and respond to the Notices because we do not want the noticed to go unnoticed.

--NOTICE COMMITTEE FOR NOTICING NOTICES



3. 




A college professor's going to bed with his wife. He's not that tired, so 
he's gonna stay awake and read while she goes to sleep. So he's reading, 
and every once in a while he reaches over and tickles her on the fun 
spot... "Kitza kitza..."
She says, "Will you stop that! Will you stop reaching over here and 
teasing me like that?"
He says, "I'm not teasing you. I'm wetting my fingers so I can turn the 
page." 

4. 




A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him
 and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
 He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

     The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me
 back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart
 and brave you are and how you are my hero"  The man took the
 frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

     The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me
 back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion
 for an entire week."  The man took the frog out of his pocket,
 smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

      The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
 a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want."
 Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back
 into his pocket.

      Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm
 a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do
 anything you want.  Why won't you kiss me?"

      The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have
 time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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