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Today's jokes [1.5.12]

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If men had PMS/PMT, what would happen?
a. The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b. Cramps would become an acceptable reason to
    apply for permanent disability.
c. There would be a federal holiday every 28 days

1. 




A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He
puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at his
mother and says "Look Momma, I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard

on the face and says "Boy, go show your Daddy." The boy goes into the
living room and says "Look Daddy, I'm a white boy." His Daddy slaps him
on the face, too and says, "Boy, go show your grandmother." So the boy
goes to see his grandma and says "Look Granny, I'm a white boy." She
slaps him on the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says
"Well, did you learn something from all this?" The boy shakes his head
and says "I sure nuff did, I've only been a white boy for five minutes
and I already hate you black people".



2. 




What's the difference between a Jewish Mother and a Rottweiler? 

    Eventually the Rottweiler lets go! 

3. 




Did you hear about the Blind man that went Bunjee jumping?

Scared the hell out of the dog.

4. 




   Out All Night Drinking

   An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally
   says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat
   on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and
   maybe that will sober him up.
   Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls
   home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls
   through the door and up the stairs.
   When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time
   he falls right into bed and is sound asleep.
   He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at
   him. "So, you've been out drinking again!!"
   "How did you know?" he asks.
   "The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."


5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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