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Today's jokes [1.25.12]

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It was about a month ago when a Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed
to confess, so he went to his Priest. 
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWll, I hid a Jewish man in 
my attic." 
"Well," answered the Priest, "That's no a sin." 
"But I made him pay me 20 gulden for each week he stayed." 
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." 
"Oh thank you Father; that eases my mind. Father, I have one more 
question." 
"What is it son." 
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

1. 




   On the eve of the couple's tenth wedding anniversary, the still slim
   wife was bragging about her figure. "You know honey," she said, "I can
   still get into the skirts I had before we were married."
   
   "Yeah ?" the husband replied as he turned his attention back to the
   ball game on TV. "I wish to hell I could."


2. 




I said to the doctor "I have this ringing in my ears."

He said, "Don't answer it!" 

3. 




A man goes to his bank manager and says "I'd like to start a small 
business how do I go about it?"
The bank manager leans back and clasps his hands together on his gut and 
replies "Buy a big one and wait" 

4. 




Q: Why do women have two holes so close together?
A: In case you miss.


5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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