Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [1.2.12]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


What do you get when you cross a Rooster with an owl?

A Cock that can stay up all night!!



1. 




This is, like, so dumb...

Instructions on how to Colect a Beaker of Cat's Urine

   1.Treat the beaker like your most prized possession.

   2.Solemnly intone the word "no" every time the cat
     approaches the beaker. 

   3.After completing steps #1 and #2, leave the cat alone
     with the beaker for thirty seconds. 


2. 




   There's a student in medical school who wants to specialize in sexual
   disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder
   clinic. The chief doctor is showing him around, discussing cases and
   the facility, when the student sees a patient masturbating right there
   in the hallway.
   
   "What condition does he have?" the student asks.
   
   "He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder," the doctor replies. "If he
   doesn't obtain sexual release forty to fifty times a day, he'll pass
   into a coma."
   
   The student takes some notes on that, and they continue down the hall.
   
   As they turn the corner, he sees another patient with his pants around
   his ankles, receiving oral sex from a beautiful nurse.
   
   "What about him?" the student asks. "What's his story?"
   
   "Oh, it's the same condition," the doctor replies. "He just has a
   better health plan."
   


3. 




The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of 
the town tavern.

"Paddy," he said, " I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you in Heaven 
one day."

"Really, Father?" slurred Paddy. "What have you done?"

4. 




Two gay men were in bed fooling around when all of a
sudden the door bell rings. The first gay man tells
the second, "Don't cum until I come back", and he
rushes off to answer the door.
After a few minutes, he eagerly returns to the bedroom
only to find cum was all over the bed and sheets. He
says to the second gay man, "I thought you wasn't going
to cum until I came back. The second gay man says to the
first, "I didn't cum, ........I farted!

Sent by Ken "C"

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 January '12 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  
8  9  10 11 12 13 14 
15 16 17 18 19 20 21 
22 23 24 25 26 27 28 
29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.