Today's jokes [1.13.12]

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These two women went out for a night on the town and got just totally 
sloshed. At the end of the evening they decided to take a short cut 
through a cow pasture after being unable to find a ride home. They became 
lost so split up to try and find the road home. One of the lushes doubled 
back only to stumble on the other flat on her back sucking on, and playing 
with a cow's udders. Her friend screamed "what are you doing"? the other 
lush says "shut up, with all these guys here someone'll drive us home". 

How do you sink a Polish submarine?

     You knock on the door. 

Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ?
A. Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob !

Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs. That 
evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone toting a 12 
point buck. "Where's George?" one of the men asked, noticing 
that Sam had returned alone.

"He's about 6 miles back. He tripped and broke his ankle. I left 
him there 'cause I figured ain't nobody 'bout to steal him."

What has four asses?

Eight half assed politicians.

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