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Today's stories [9.8.11]

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An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered
his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which
required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers
exited, give a smile, and a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline."  He said
that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the
passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart 
comment.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking
with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no
Ma'am," said the pilot, "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we
land or were we shot down?"

1. 




STATISTICALLY SPEAKING

Germany was frequently bombing Russia during World War 
II.  Every time the air raid siren sounded, people rushed to 
the nearest air raid bomb shelter.  One person who never 
took shelter was a professor of statistics.  He argued that 
there are seven million people in Russia and the probability 
of a bomb actually dropping on him was very small.  Then 
suddenly one day when the air raid siren was sounded the 
professor rushed to the air raid shelter along with his 
neighbours from the building.
"Lost your nerver professor ?"asked one of his aquaitances.
" NO" said the professor " but I have realized that the bombs 
do not observe the laws of probability.  There were seven 
million people and one elephant in Russia .  Yesterday they 
got the elephant."

Sent by nanditha 

2. 




Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake
City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was
quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you 
it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the
flight attendant's fault.....it was the asphalt!"

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
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This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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