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Today's jokes [9.6.11]

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Two fags were walking down the street and passed a handsome guy.  One
fag turned to the other and said, "See that stud there, Bruce?"
        "Sure."
        "Well, let me tell you, he's a tremendous fuck!"
        "No shit?" Bruce asked.
        "Well, hardly any."

1. 




An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he 
called his lawyer. "I want to become a lawyer. How much is 
it or the express degree you told me about?"

"It's $50,000," the lawyer said. "But why? You'll be dead soon, 
why do you want to become a lawyer?"

"That's my business! Get me the course!"

Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer 
was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid.

Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing and 
it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the 
lawyer leaned over and said, "please, before it's too late, 
tell me why you wanted to to get a law degree so badly before 
you died?"

In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said, 
"One less lawyer . . ."

2. 




If the bird of wisdom is an owl, and the bird of peace 
is the dove, what is the bird of TRUE love?

The Swallow. 


Sent by Denise

3. 




If you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public service
announcement: 
In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear
country. 
The bells warn away MOST bears (brown, black, etc.), but be careful because they don't scare 
Grizzly Bears. 
Tourists are cautioned to watch the ground on the trail, paying particular attention to bear 
droppings to be alert for the presence of Grizzly Bears. 
One can easily spot a Grizzly dropping because it has tiny bells in it. 

4. 




What have a blonde and a computer got in common?

You don't realise how much you miss them until they go down on you!


Sent by Tiggsy


5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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