Today's jokes [9.26.11]
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A construction worker was whistling and verbally harassing
a young girl as she walked by the construction site.
She completely ignored him, and just kept on walking.
Annoyed the worker yelled "Well you're an ugly bitch anyway!"
The girl turned around and replied "It must be terrible when
even an ugly bitch won't give you the time of day?"
Why wasn't Jesus born in West Virginia?
Well God found plenty of guys who liked
to deal with sheep, but he could'nt
find three wise men or a virgin.
Sent by Johnny
Q: What did Michael Jackson say when his cock slid
in the little boys arse?
A: There is a great musician in you.
UNIVERSAL GRADE CHANGE FORM
To: Professor____________________ From:___________________________
I think my grade in your course,___________________, should be
changed from ______ to _______ for the following reasons:
______1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did.
______2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did.
______3. This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't get into:
______Medical School ______Graduate School
______Dental School ______My Fraternity/Sorority
______The Mickey Mouse Club ______Tri County Tech
______4. I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in
______5. I'll lose my scholarship.
______6. I'm on a varsity sports team and my tutor couldn't find a copy of your exam.
______7. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used
did not cover the materisal asked for on the exam.
______8. I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every
______9. I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams
asked about general principles.
_____10. You are prejudiced against:
______Males ______Jews ______Blacks
______Females ______Catholics ______Whites
______Protestants ______Moslems ______Minorities
______Chicanos ______People ______Students
_____11. If I flunk out of school my father will disinherit me or
at least cut my allowance.
_____12. I was unable to do well in this course because of the
______mono ______broken baby finger
______acute alcoholism ______pregnancy
_____13. You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly
how you wanted that done.
_____14. I was creative and you said I was just shooting the bull.
_____15. I don't have a reason; I just want a higher grade.
_____16. The lectures were:
______too detailed to pick out important points
______not explained in sufficient detail
______all jokes and not enough material
______all of the above
_____17. This course was:
______too early, I was not awake.
______at lunchtime, I was hungry
______too late, I was tired
_____18. My (dog, cat, gerbil) (ate, wet on, threw up on) my
(book, notes, paper) for this course.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish and he will sit
in a boat and drink beer all day.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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