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Today's jokes [9.18.11]

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How to Hunt Elephants -- QA Style

Quality assurance inspectors ignore the elephants and look
for mistakes the other hunters made when they were packing
the jeep.

1. 




You know why there's a string on a tampon? So the crabs can bungee jump.

2. 




   Three guys are applying for a job with the CIA. They get all the way
   to the final test.
   
   So the first guy walks into the director's office and sits down. The
   director reaches in his desk and pulls out a pistol. He lays it on his
   desk in front of the guy. Tells him, "This test is to test your
   loyalty. Take this gun and go up the stairs and go into the first room
   on your right. Your wife will be in there. Put a bullet in her head."
   The guy looks at him and says, "No way." So the director says, "You
   fail."
   
   The next guy comes in. The director tells him the same thing. Guy
   picks up the gun and heads for the room. Comes back about 15 minutes
   later. Tells the director that he just couldn't go through with it.
   The director says, "You fail."
   
   So now the third guy comes in, same scene. Guy heads up to the room.
   The director hears 3 shots, followed by a whole lot of ruckus (glass
   breaking, furniture getting smashed). Guy comes back in all beat up
   and his clothes tore up. The director goes, "What happened to you?"
   Guy replies, "After three shots I realized that there were blanks in
   the gun so I had to choke the bitch to death."
   


3. 




A homosexual walked into a delicatessen and asked the shopkeeper for a 
large knob of salami.
"Would you like it sliced, sir?" the shopkeeper asked politely.
"What do you think I am?" replied the fag, "...a money box!"

4. 




One day Pablo and Paco are riding through the desert on their horses. As 
they ride along, Pablo smells something horrible. He stops his horse and 
turns around. He says "Hey Paco, you shit your pants?" Paco says "No, Pablo,
I did not shit my pants." He believes him and they keep riding. As they go 
on, the smell gets worse. The smell is so bad, flys begin to swarm. Pablo 
stops his horse and turns around. He then says "Paco, Are you sure you did 
not shit your pants?"  Pablo says "Yes Pablo, I am sure I did not shit my 
pants." He says "Ok." They keep going and now the smell is getting to be 
unbearable. Pablo is swatting the flys away. Pablo stops his horse and gets
 of his horse. He then says "Paco, get of your horse. Paco, pull down your 
pants. Paco, I thought you said you did not shit your pants?" Paco replies 
"I thought you meant today!"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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