Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [9.15.11]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


Q: What's a Jewish American Princess' favorite position?

A: Facing Bloomingdales

1. 




What has a woman got in common with a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Once you get past the tender breast and the juicy thigh, all you're left
with is a greasy box.

2. 




A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman.
After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?" 

The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!" 

"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then." 

3. 




A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him 
two beautiful ones out on the floor. "This one's $5,000 and the other is
$10,000." the clerk said. 
"Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?" 
"This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote." 
"And the other?" said the customer. 
"This one can sing Wagner's entire Ring cycle. There's another one in
the back room for $30,000." 
"Holy moly! What does that one do?" 
"Nothing that I can tell, but the other two parrots call him 'Maestro'." 


4. 




Young man Murphy applied for an engineering position at an 
Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same 
job and both applicants having the same qualifications were 
asked to take a test by the Department manager. 

Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the 
questions. The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you 
for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the 
job."

Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 
questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I 
should get the job!"

Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct 
answers, but on the question you missed."

Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better 
than the other?"

Manager: "Simple. The American put down on question # 5, 'I 
don't know.' You put down 'Neither do I.'"

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 September '11 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
            1  2  3  
4  5  6  7  8  9  10 
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 
18 19 20 21 22 23 24 
25 26 27 28 29 30 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.