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Today's jokes [9.12.11]

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   A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a
   sentence. Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we
   saw all the animals. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was
   good, but I wanted the word "'fascinate.'" Sally raised her hand. She
   said, "My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I
   was fascinated." The teacher said, "Good, but I wanted the word
   'fascinate.'" Little Billy raised his hand. The teacher hesitated
   because Billy was noted for is bad language. She finally decided there
   was no way he could damage the word "fascinate" so she called on him.
   Billy said, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs
   are so big she can only fasten 8."


1. 




What the difference between true love and herpes? 

    - Herpes lasts forever 

2. 




What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

3. 




What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?

Wayne takes a shower after three periods.

4. 




Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who went duck hunting?
A: He didn't get any because he couldn't throw the dog high enough.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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