Today's jokes [9.11.11]
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A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer.
One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was
drinking an extremely large glass of milk. The young man said "I took
the liberty of milking your cow this morning!" He then continues and says
"it took me a while to get her started up. She must be old and stubbly."
The uncle says with a confused look " Um son we don't have a cow...We have
So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building
and this white dude sees him. After the Mexican is done the white
guy asks him, "How come you Mexicans don't wash your hands after
And the Mexican guy replies, "Because we Mexicans don't piss in
A woman went to a podiatrist complaining that her feet always hurt.
He immediately noticed that she was extremely bowlegged.
"Have you always been that way?" asked the podiatrist.
"No," she said, not until recently. "I've been fucking a lot doggie
"Well," said the podiatrist, "you are going to have to stop."
"I can't," she replied, "that's the only way my German Shepherd fucks."
Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police.
'What are those knives doing in your car?' asked the officer.
'I juggle them in my act.'
Oh yeah?' says the cop. 'Let's see you do it.'
So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives.
A guy driving by sees this and says, 'Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look
at the test they're making you do now!'
A long time resident of San Francisco is packing all
his stuff into boxes. His roommate comes in & asks
what he's doing. "I'm leaving !" he replies. "They just
made homosexuality legal."
"So why leave now ?" queries his roomie. "Gays have
been part of the scene here for years and years."
"Yeah, I know." he replied. "I'm getting the hell out
of here before the damn fools make it compulsory."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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