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Today's stories [8.13.11]

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Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie.
They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk.
The problem was getting Ken to listen.

1. 




My mother taught me to read when I was three years old (her first 
mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet 
doors was ajar.I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why 
she was  keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the 
kitchen??? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me 
that those were for special occasions".

Now fast forward a few months...

It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and 
his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were 
gone.
Mine was to set the table. When they returned, the pastor came in first 
and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then 
began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came 
mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on 
the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork 
carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they 
didn't hang off the edge!!
My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the 
other adults into further fits of laughter. "But, Mom, you SAID they were 
for special occasions!"

2. 




Recently, when I went to McDonald's. I saw on the menu
that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken
McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We
don't have half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at
the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have
six, nine, or twelve," was the reply "So I can't
order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six
McNuggets.

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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