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Today's quotes [8.5.11]

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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second
   marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.


1. 




"While I was doing this, a neighbor walked up, and I just want to say that if
 you think it's easy to explain why you're squatting in your driveway, in
 front of a set of burning underwear, surrounded by hair spray bottles,
 holding a Barbie doll in your hand, then you are mistaken."
                        -- Dave Barry


2. 




Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
   Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
   because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
   forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live
   forever.
   -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest


3. 




"Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than 
each other."
                     -- Ann Landers -- 

4. 




No good deed goes unpunished.
        
                        --Billy Wilder

5. 



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