Today's jokes [8.8.11]
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Q: What do you get when you breed a Bulldog and a Shitzu together?
What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic?
A drunk doesn't have to go to those stupid meetings.
Mommy, mommy! What's a nymphomaniac?
Shut up and help me get grandma off the doorknob!
A young Army 1st Lt. is in the bathroom (head) releaving
himself at the urinal, when a young boy walks in. The boy,
seeing the young Lt.'s green uniform asks him if he was in the
Army. The Lt. smiles and say's, "Why yes I am...you wanna
wear my hat?" The boy nods and the hat is placed on his head.
As the boy admired himself in the mirror, the bathroom door
slammed open and an old Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt walked in.
He was decked out in his Dress Blue Uniform, with medals down
his chest. The boy, seeing the uniform asked him, "Hey, are
you a Marine?" The Gunnery Sgt peared down at the boy and
responded, "That's right! Why? Do wanna suck me off?" The
boy replied nervously, "I-I-I'm not in the Army!! I'm just
wearing his hat!!"
Sent by Brian
The Company Commander and the 1st Sgt, were in the field.
As they hit the sack for the night, the 1SG said: "Sir, look up
into the sky and tell me what you see."
The CO said "I see millions of stars."
1st Sgt.: "And what does that tell you, sir?"
CO: Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of
galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells
me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day
tomorrow. What does it tell you, Top?"
1st Sgt.: "Well sir, it tells me that somebody stole our tent."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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