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Today's jokes [8.29.11]

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What is the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?

A Slut sleeps with everyone, a bitch sleeps with everyone but you!

1. 




There are three truths in life:

1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah....

2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the
   leader of the Christian faith.....

3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store.

2. 




Why do they call it PMS?

Mad Cow disease was already taken.



3. 




Messy desk. Top management can get away with a clean
desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not working
hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your
workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same
as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and
wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury
the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack
and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. 




A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated 
to "The Unknown Soldier". At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: 
"Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg".
The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown 
had a name.
The resident replied, "As a soldier, that Seymour was pretty much unknown, 
but as an accountant-Oy! He was something."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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