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Today's jokes [8.2.11]

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Kid: Teacher can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: You have to say your ABC's first
Kid: Ok,
a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u, v,w.x.y, and z
Teacher: Where's the p?
Kid: It's running down my leg!!

Sent by Jenna

1. 




The owner of a small crossroads store in South Carolina was appointed 
postmaster. Over six months went by and not one piece of mail left towm. 
Deeply concerned, postal authorities in Washington wrote the postmaster to 
inquire why.
They received this short and simple explantion: "The bag ain't full yet."

2. 




A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel
bag onto the plane.  Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to
stuff it in the overhead bin.  "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?" 
she sighed.
"No more," the man said.  "Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my 
partner can buy the ticket!"

3. 




Three Things Women Can Do That Men Can't:
1.  Bleed for a week and not die.
2.  Give milk without eating grass



3.  Bury an eight inch bone faster than any dog!

4. 




A man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred.

The doctor asked the man, "Do you smoke or drink?"

"No," he replied, "I've never done either."

"Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?" 
inquired the doctor.

"No, I've never done any of those things either."

"Well then," said the doctor, "what do you want to live to be a 
hundred for?"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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