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Today's jokes [8.16.11]

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Why'd the monkey fall outta the tree? 

'cause he was dead...

Why'd the other monkey fall outta the tree? 

'cause he was dead too...

Why'd the third monkey fall outta the tree?

peer pressure...

1. 




Q:What do you call two guys in a sleepping bag?
A: A gay time.... 

Sent by Lara

2. 




Confucious say: "Man who goes to sleep 
with sex on mind wakes up with solution 
in hand."

3. 




Rejection Letter Reject



Ever wonder what to do when those rejection letters start piling
up?  Well here's a suggestion:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - Cut Here - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Date Today]

Dear Mr. Kennelly:

Thank you for your letter of April 17.  After careful
consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept
your refusal to offer me employment with your firm.  This year I
have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large
number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising
field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all
refusals.

Despite Acme Inc.'s outstanding qualifications and previous
experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection
does not meet with my needs at this time.  Therefore, I will
initiate employment with your firm immediately following
graduation.  I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,

[Your name here]



4. 




There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to 
the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was
being rocked by some severe turbulence. So this 
kindly old lady looked upon Death's door, and said 
to her papal neighbour. 'Father, surely you can 
do something about this...'
To which the Pope replied, 'Sorry lady, I'm in 
sales, not management.'

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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