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Today's quotes [7.28.11]

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"Always behave like a duck; keep calm and unruffled on the surface But
paddle like the devil underneath."

1. 




The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be
   caught dead in otherwise.
         Roger Simon


2. 




I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.
   They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
         Rita Rudner


3. 




I don't exercise at all. If God meant for us to
touch our toes, he would have put them further up on
our body.

4. 




In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything.
Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. 
Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out" 

                            -- Steven Wright

5. 



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