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Today's jokes [7.7.11]

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Two teens had been lovers for a few weeks, but the boy was 
always after the girl to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up 
after some love making, and he said, "You really ought to quit."

She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good 
cigarette after sex."

He replied, "But they stunt your growth." She asked if he ever 
smoked, and he replied that he had never.

Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's 
your excuse then?"

1. 




A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products.
At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle
nipples. The machine makes a loud "hiss-pop" noise. "The hiss is the rubber
being injected into the mold," explains the guide. "The popping sound is
the needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."

Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are
manufactured. The machine makes a "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop" noise. "Wait
a minute!" says the man taking the tour. "I understand what the 'hiss,
hiss,' is, but what's that 'pop' every so often?"

"Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says the
guide. "It pokes a hole in every fourth condom."

"Well, that can't be good for the condoms!"

"Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"

2. 




How do you make love to a fat girl?

Roll her in flour and go for the wet spot. 

3. 




How do men sort their laundry? 

     "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable". 

4. 




Chain Letter Type lI:  Make a wish!!!

(This is where you have to scroll down)







Really, go on and make one wish!!!









Oh please, s/he'll never go out with you!!!












Wish something else!!!










Not *that* either, you pervert!!










Is your finger getting tired yet?











You Can Stop now moron!!!!!!!!

Wasn't that fun?  Hope you made a great wish.  Now, to make you feel guilty,
here's what I'll do.  First of all, if you don't send this to a certain
number of people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and
then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.  It's true!   Because
, you now, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
Really!!! Here's how it goes.

Send this to 1 person: One person will be upset with you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.

Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be upset with you for sending them
a stupid chain letter.

5-10 people: 5-10 people will be upset with at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.

10-20 people: 10-20 people will be upset with at you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.

20 to 674,951 1/2 people: 20 to 674,951 1/2 people will be upset with you
for sending them a stupid chain letter.

Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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