Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [7.6.11]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


A couple just moved into hotel. And the hotel clerk asks the 
man after helping him with his luggage.

- Anything else? 

- NO, thanks, 

- Maybe, your wife needs something ? 

- Oh, yeah. Thank you for your reminder. Do you sell greeting 
cards ? 

1. 




Two Irishmen were digging a ditch directly across from a brothel.
Suddenly, they saw a rabbi walk up to the front door, glance around 
and duck inside. "Ah, will you look at that?" One ditch digger said.
"What's our world comin' to when men of th' cloth are visitin' such
places?"
A short time later, a Protestant minister walked up to the door and
quietly slipped inside. "Do you believe that?" The workman exclaimed.
"Why, 'tis no wonder th' young people today are so confused, what with
the example clergymen set for them."
After an hour went by, the men watched as a Catholic priest quickly
entered the whore house. "Ah, what a pity," the digger said, leaning
on his shovel. "One of th' poor lasses must be ill."

2. 




Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None 
survived. 

One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and 
laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the 
Creator of all. 

Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. 
"Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! 
Goldblum! The ashtrays in your temple so My people could 
smoke while the Torah was being read???"

Goldblum shuddered.

God went on. "I can live with that. Men are weak, but the Word 
is strong!" 

Goldblum sighed with relief. 

"Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat, but 
really: serving Ham Sandwiches to the devout at the temple 
during Yom Kippur?" 

Bauman hung his head in shame. 

"Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that 
which is not Kosher. I'm not pleased at all with the playing fast 
and loose with my people, but I can accept these 
indiscretions."

Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief.

Finally, He turns to the third rabbi and says, "You, Rabinowitz, 
have gone too far! Am I asking too much? No, you flaunt 
the world at Me, even on the holiest days of Rosh Hashana and 
Yom Kippur by putting out a sign saying.... 

"Closed for the Holiday !!!"

3. 




How do you know when a redneck isn't wearing any underwear?

There's dandruff on his/her shoes.

4. 




There is a child molester and a young boy walking through a deep remote 
forest. After a while the boy gets very cold and frightened so he says, 
"Mister i'm scared and cold, please let me go",the child molester cries out,
"You think your scared I have to walk home alone!" 



5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 July '11 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
               1  2  
3  4  5  6  7  8  9  
10 11 12 13 14 15 16 
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 
24 25 26 27 28 29 30 
31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.