Today's jokes [7.6.11]
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A couple just moved into hotel. And the hotel clerk asks the
man after helping him with his luggage.
- Anything else?
- NO, thanks,
- Maybe, your wife needs something ?
- Oh, yeah. Thank you for your reminder. Do you sell greeting
Two Irishmen were digging a ditch directly across from a brothel.
Suddenly, they saw a rabbi walk up to the front door, glance around
and duck inside. "Ah, will you look at that?" One ditch digger said.
"What's our world comin' to when men of th' cloth are visitin' such
A short time later, a Protestant minister walked up to the door and
quietly slipped inside. "Do you believe that?" The workman exclaimed.
"Why, 'tis no wonder th' young people today are so confused, what with
the example clergymen set for them."
After an hour went by, the men watched as a Catholic priest quickly
entered the whore house. "Ah, what a pity," the digger said, leaning
on his shovel. "One of th' poor lasses must be ill."
Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None
One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and
laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the
Creator of all.
Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three.
"Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You!
Goldblum! The ashtrays in your temple so My people could
smoke while the Torah was being read???"
God went on. "I can live with that. Men are weak, but the Word
Goldblum sighed with relief.
"Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat, but
really: serving Ham Sandwiches to the devout at the temple
during Yom Kippur?"
Bauman hung his head in shame.
"Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that
which is not Kosher. I'm not pleased at all with the playing fast
and loose with my people, but I can accept these
Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief.
Finally, He turns to the third rabbi and says, "You, Rabinowitz,
have gone too far! Am I asking too much? No, you flaunt
the world at Me, even on the holiest days of Rosh Hashana and
Yom Kippur by putting out a sign saying....
"Closed for the Holiday !!!"
How do you know when a redneck isn't wearing any underwear?
There's dandruff on his/her shoes.
There is a child molester and a young boy walking through a deep remote
forest. After a while the boy gets very cold and frightened so he says,
"Mister i'm scared and cold, please let me go",the child molester cries out,
"You think your scared I have to walk home alone!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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