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Today's jokes [7.5.11]

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Did you hear the latest theory about Monica Lewinsky?

It may never be proven but they think she may be the
youngest woman to have ever held the Presidency. 

1. 




   Titicons
   (.)(.) tiny tits
   (o) (o) regular tits
   ( O )( O ) big tits
   ( @ ) ( @ ) big harry tits
   ( ' ) ( ' ) perky tits
   {.} {.} shriveled tits
   ( , ) ( , ) drippy tits
   [ _ ] [ _ ] android tits
   ( # ) ( # ) Tysoned tits
   


2. 




A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices
that the oil-pressure light is on.  He gets out to look and sees oil 
dripping out of the motor.  He drives to the nearest town and stops
at the first gas station. 

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around 
town.  He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, 
decides that something cold would really hit the spot.  He gets a
big dish of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat.  Having no hands,
he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.  

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks 
the mechanic if he's found the problem.  The mechanic looks up and 
says, "It looks like you blew a seal." 

"No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."

3. 




After the first week of sex education class, a young shapely teen stormed 
out of the room after the class was over. Encountering a female friend in 
the hall, the friend asked, "Lori, what in the world is the matter with 
you? You look as if you're about to kill someone." "I am !!!" Lori fumed. 
"You just wait until I catch up with that Dennis. All summer long, that 
clown had me convinced that 'foreplay' involved tossing a coin for 
position."

4. 




One blonde to another...

Have you ever read Shakespeare?

No. Who wrote it?

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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