Today's jokes [7.19.11]
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Prostitute walks into a bar and asks the bar man for two Bacardi's and
coke. Bar man serves her and notices that she drinks one and empties the
other one down her panties. Now this happened another three times and the
bar man was getting rather curious. The bar man nicely questions her and
asks her why she is drinking one Barcardi and coke and throwing the other
one down her panties. She replies, "I just won the lottery and that's the
only cunt getting a drink out of me tonight!"
Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to
collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm. She turned pale.
"No, Johnny! Stop! That's horrible! You can't eat worms!" Trying to
convince him further, "Now the mother worm is looking all over for her
"No, she isn't," said Johnny. "Why not?" "Because I ate her first!"
When you go to the hospital how do you find the head nurse?
Look for the nurse with dirty knees and swollen lips!
Three guys are in a Cessna. The first drops a penny out the window. The
second drops a pencil and the third a bomb. When the plane lands, the
first guy goes to see where the penny landed. He sees a guy swearing and
trying to get a penny out of his forehead. The second sees a girl holding
her dog who has a pencil through his head. The third guy sees a guy
laughing his head off. He asks, "Why are you laughing?" The guy says, "I
was cooking on my BBQ when I farted..." "What's so funny about that?" "It
blew my neighbor's house apart!"
A man went to a sex doctor and told him of his extremely
active sex life. He said He had a wife, several mistresses,
masturbated, and had wet dreams all the time.
The doctor asked which he liked best.
He Replied, " Wet Dreams, you meet a much higher class of
people in them."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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