Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [7.19.11]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


Prostitute walks into a bar and asks the bar man for two Bacardi's and 
coke. Bar man serves her and notices that she drinks one and empties the 
other one down her panties. Now this happened another three times and the
bar man was getting rather curious. The bar man nicely questions her and 
asks her why she is drinking one Barcardi and coke and throwing the other 
one down her panties. She replies, "I just won the lottery and that's the
only cunt getting a drink out of me tonight!" 

1. 




Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to 
collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm. She turned pale. 
"No, Johnny! Stop! That's horrible! You can't eat worms!" Trying to 
convince him further, "Now the mother worm is looking all over for her 
nice baby-worm."
"No, she isn't," said Johnny. "Why not?" "Because I ate her first!" 


2. 




When you go to the hospital how do you find the head nurse? 

Look for the nurse with dirty knees and swollen lips! 

3. 




Three guys are in a Cessna. The first drops a penny out the window. The 
second drops a pencil and the third a bomb. When the plane lands, the 
first guy goes to see where the penny landed. He sees a guy swearing and 
trying to get a penny out of his forehead. The second sees a girl holding 
her dog who has a pencil through his head. The third guy sees a guy 
laughing his head off. He asks, "Why are you laughing?" The guy says, "I 
was cooking on my BBQ when I farted..." "What's so funny about that?" "It 
blew my neighbor's house apart!"

4. 




A man went to a sex doctor and told him of his extremely 
active sex life.  He said He had a wife, several mistresses, 
masturbated, and had wet dreams all the time.  

The doctor asked which he liked best.

He Replied, " Wet Dreams, you meet a much higher class of 
people in them."

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 July '11 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
               1  2  
3  4  5  6  7  8  9  
10 11 12 13 14 15 16 
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 
24 25 26 27 28 29 30 
31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.