Today's jokes [7.12.11]
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A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way down
a one-way street when a policeman pulled him over. "Didn't
you see the arrow, buddy?" he asked.
"An arrow?" the confused driver said. "I didn't even see the
Tooth Fairy Form Letter
Thank you for leaving  tooth under your pillow last night.
While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of
lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your
request for the following reason(s) indicated below:
( ) the tooth could not be found
( ) it was not a human tooth
( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny
( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odour
( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you
(x) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth
( ) you were age 12 or older at the time your request was received
( ) the tooth is still in your mouth (x) the tooth was
guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of our visit
( ) no nightlight was on at the time of our visit
(x) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or
( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] string
[ ] pliers
[ ] gunpowder
[ ] hammer marks
[ ] chisel
[ ] part of skull attached to tooth
[ ] no dental care
( ) other:
Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have provided the following
certificate which you may attempt to exchange at a retail store near
you. Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in
The Tooth Fairy
A lady golfer is stung by a wasp.
She goes to look for the greenkeeper and finds him.
"I've been stung by a wasp" She says.
" Where did it get you?" He replies
"Between the 1st and 2nd hole"
"I think your stance must be a little too wide"
What's 3 feet tall and gives me head?
At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician, charged with
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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