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Today's quotes [6.7.11]

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"I just woke up, I'm 40 miles from my car and I can't remember where I left my
 trousers. I think I'm going to be a little late."
                        -- Someone's employee, rec.humor.funny


1. 




   My wife claims her car is so old,
   that the fenders aren't dented -- they're wrinkled ! 


2. 




It was so cold, the town flasher ran up and described himself.

3. 




"Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a 
Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English 
cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife." 

James H. Kabbler III.

4. 




Hi.  I'm here to pick up the Pope's Superbowl tickets -
   Ave.  Hic adsum ad tesseras pontificis maximi Colosseo Maximo tollendas.


5. 



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