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Today's jokes [6.28.11]

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How do you know if a lesbian is butch?

She kick-starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.


Sent by Chris


1. 




What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a
year, twice in a week, but never in a day?

The letter "E"


Sent by T. JONES

2. 




She was so blond, she thought Boys II Men was a daycare center.

3. 




Why do you live like a NUN after you get married?

NUN in the morning, NUN in the afternoon, NUN in the 
      evening, NUN what so ever!


Sent by Tiffany

4. 




A blonde began a job as an Junior  school counselor, and she 
was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy 
standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the 
rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. 
Sandy approached and asked if he was alright.

The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy 
noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. 
Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be 
your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking 
at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, 
Sandy then asked "Why are you standing here all alone? 
Why don't you go and join those boys playing football over 
there?" "Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, 

"I'm the bloody goalie."


Sent by Gerald

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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