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Today's jokes [6.24.11]

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A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A 
neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked 
great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just 
right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was 
stuck again. 

The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine 
until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again 
our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure 
the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that 
the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.

1. 




Now I understand what marketing is:

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and 
tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Direct Marketing.

You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty 
girl. One of your friends approaches her and tells her: "That guy over 
there is very good in bed". That is Advertising.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone 
number. The following day you call her and tell her: "I am very good in 
bed". That is Telemarketing .

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You recognize her, you 
approach her and refresh her memory by telling her: "Do you remember how 
good I am in bed?" That is Customer Relationship Management. 

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You get up, fix your 
tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her, pick up her bag when it 
falls and you tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Public Relations.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. She approaches you and 
tells you: "I heard you are very good in bed". That is BRANDING!!

2. 




What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?

Snoop in your medicine cabinet.


3. 




One of the life's mysteries is how a two-pound
box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

4. 




Wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on
those little bottles of Evian water?

Try spelling Evian backwards. NAIVE

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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