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Today's jokes [6.18.11]

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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair.
She  looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of 
your hairs white, Mom?

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then
said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

1. 




After a wonderful night of love making, the young guy rolled over and was 
looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk 
in the distance. Naturally, the guy began to worry.
"Is that your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, she answered, "That's me before the surgery."

2. 




A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
what  the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like.

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl
replied,  "They will in a minute."

3. 




A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her
dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for
a snow plow and follow it."

Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She
followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of
the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that
her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a
plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking
lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart."

4. 




A lumberjack new to the job had trouble meeting his quota. He worked as
hard as he could, but still he could only chop down two or three trees
in a day.His supervisor noticed this, and asked what was wrong. Maybe
his chainsaw was broken. The supervisor turned it on, but it was working
fine.

The lumberjack looked incredibly startled and asked, "What's that noise?"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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