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Today's quotes [5.6.11]

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"alt.possessive.its.has.no.apostrophe"
                        -- a real newgroup


1. 




"If you tape a piece of buttered bread to 
the back of a cat butter side up and drop 
the cat, which will hit the ground, the 
cats fet or the buttered side of the 
bread?...Neither the assembly will reach 
a elevation of one foot from the ground 
and start to spin uncontrollably, 
perpetual motion."


2. 




Beer is good food. 

     - John Goodman 

3. 




* If quiters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the
       fool who said "Quit while you're ahead"?


4. 




"I'm leaving in a couple hours for Knoxville, Tennessee. I'm going to
 visit some family over Christmas. This is where my grandmother lives.
 She has dementia, and is firmly convinced that a trio of hoodlums have
 tunneled through the ground to her house and are now residing in her
 utility closet."
"HEY!  There's actually FOUR of us!  And we're not hoodlums, we're thugs.
 Tell her to get it straight."
                        -- kife@ix.netcom.com, Lt. Wilkes


5. 



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