Today's jokes [5.22.11]
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Two condoms walk past a gay bar. One of them says to the other,
"Hey, do you fancy dropping in there and getting shit-faced?"
Sue reports for jury duty as ordered, and promptly asks to be excused
because she believes she's prejudice.
"I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I
immediately knew that he was guilty as sin."
"Sit down," says the judge. "That's the prosecuting attorney."
Just after Lorenna Bobbitt brutally cut off her husband's penis, she
jumped into her car and sped away.
On her way down the highway, holding her husbands penis in her hand, she
decided to throw it out the window. She opened her window and tossed the
penis as far as she could and sped away again.
Meanwhile two potheads who were driving down the same highway happened to
cross right by Lorenna just as she tossed it out the window and the penis
hit their windshield smack dab in the middle. Stunned but still quiet the
two locals drove on. About three miles down the road one pothead turned
to the other and said, "Man, Did you see the size of the dick on the
A woman enters a butcher shop and asks the counter assistant,
"Do you have pigs ears?"
The counter assistant replies,
"No, its just the way my hair is parted!"
It was a nice sunny day when three men were walking down a country road,
when they saw a bush with a pig's ass popping out.
The first man says, "I wish that was Demi Moore's Ass"
The second man says, "I wish that was Pamela Anderson's Ass."
Then the third man says, "I wish it was dark."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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