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Today's jokes [5.22.11]

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Two condoms walk past a gay bar. One of them says to the other,
"Hey, do you fancy dropping in there and getting shit-faced?"

1. 




Sue reports for jury duty as ordered, and promptly asks to be excused 
because she believes she's prejudice. 

"I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I 
immediately knew that he was guilty as sin." 

"Sit down," says the judge. "That's the prosecuting attorney."

2. 




Just after Lorenna Bobbitt brutally cut off her husband's penis, she 
jumped into her car and sped away. 

On her way down the highway, holding her husbands penis in her hand, she 
decided to throw it out the window. She opened her window and tossed the 
penis as far as she could and sped away again. 

Meanwhile two potheads who were driving down the same highway happened to 
cross right by Lorenna just as she tossed it out the window and the penis 
hit their windshield smack dab in the middle. Stunned but still quiet the 
two locals drove on. About three miles down the road one pothead turned 
to the other and said, "Man, Did you see the size of the dick on the 
Mosquito?"

3. 




A woman enters a butcher shop and asks the counter assistant,
"Do you have pigs ears?"
The counter assistant replies,
"No, its just the way my hair is parted!"

4. 




It was a nice sunny day when three men were walking down a country road, 
when they saw a bush with a pig's ass popping out. 

The first man says, "I wish that was Demi Moore's Ass" 

The second man says, "I wish that was Pamela Anderson's Ass." 

Then the third man says, "I wish it was dark."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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