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Today's jokes [5.2.11]

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Biology Class

   In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose
   levels found in semen. A young female (FRESHMAN) raised her hand and
   asked, "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as
   in sugar
   in male semen?"
   "That's correct", responded the professor, going on to add statistical
   info.
   Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste
   sweet?"
   After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor
   girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she
   had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books
   without a word and walked out of class.... and never returned.
   However, as she was going out the door, the Professor's reply was
   classic....
   Totally straight-faced he answered her question, "It doesn't taste
   sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your
   tongue and not the back of your throat."


1. 




Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight.
After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink
orders.


The President asked for a whisky & soda, which was brought and placed
before him.  The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like
drink.
The minister replied in disgust, "Ma'am, I'd rather be savagely raped by
a brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips!"


The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said,
"I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a choice..."



2. 




A priest is teaching a nun how to swim and the nun says to the priest 
"Will I really sink if you take your finger out?"

3. 




"Miss Jones, we can't employ you as a model," the editor from the
men's magazine explained. "It's too obvious that your blonde hair
isn't natural, since the hair between your legs is black." 

The model picked up a paperweight and slammed it down on the editor's
fingers. 

"What the hell did you do that for!" he exploded. She smiled sweetly
and said, "Look at your fingers. They're turning black, right? And
they've only been banged once." 

4. 




"I've had it with my wife." said the one drinking buddy to the 
other. "I'm filing for an divorce."

"Sorry to hear that pal." said his partner. "May I ask why?"

"I found her supply of birth control pills." said the first.

"Listen Frank, with all due respect to your religion, I just can't 
see leaving your wife for what the Church says is a sin."

"It ain't just that." stormed Frank. "I had a vasectomy over five 
years ago."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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