Today's jokes [5.18.11]
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Finally, a worthy pyramid scheme! Simply send this e-mail to 9 of your mates...
Anaesthetise your wife/girlfriend, put her in a large carton, (don't forget
some ventilation holes), and send it to the person who is at the top of
your list. Soon, your name will be at the top of the list, and you will
receive 823,542 women through the post.
Statistically, among those women, there will be at least:
* 0.5 Miss Worlds,
* 2.5 supermodels,
* 463 wild nymphos,
* 3,234 good-looking nymphos,
* 20,198 who enjoy multiple orgasms,
* and 40,198 bi-sexual women.
In total, that is 64,294 women who are simply hornier, less inhibited, and
tastier than the miserable old cow you posted off. And, best of all, your
original package is guaranteed not to be one of those that come back to you.
DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN LETTER!!!
One bloke for example who sent the letter to only 5 instead of 9 of his
friends got his original bird back, still in the old dressing gown he sent
her off in, with the same old migraine attack, and the accusatorial
expression on her face.
On the same day, the international supermodel he'd been living with since
he sent off his old girlfriend moved out to live with his best friend (to
whom he had not sent the chain letter).
While I am sending this letter, the bloke that is in 6th place above me has
already received 837 women and is lying in hospital suffering from
exhaustion. Outside his ward are 452 more packages.
YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS E-MAIL!!!
This is a unique opportunity to achieve a totally satisfying sex life. No
expensive meals out, no lengthy conversations about trivialities (that only
interest women) just so that you can bonk her.
No obligations, no grumpy mother-in-law, and no unpleasant surprises like
marriage or engagement.
Do not hesitate ... send this letter today to 9 of your best friends.
PS. - Even if you have no girlfriend, you can send your vacuum cleaner.
PPS. - This letter can also be copied to women you know so that they can
prepare themselves for the great adventure that they may soon undertake.
This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men.
What happens is that when you stop for a red light, a young nude woman
comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield. While she is doing
this, another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car.
They are very good at this.
They got me 7 times Friday and 5 times Saturday. I wasn't able to find
them on Sunday.
A Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service
by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid.
When he walks into his hotel room, there's a beautiful girl, nude, lying on
the bed. She says, "Hi, Rabbi, I'm a little something extra that the
president of the board arranged for you."
The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls the President of the
Temple Board and says, "Greenberg, what were you thinking? Where's your
respect? I am the moral leader of our community! I am very angry with you
and you have not heard the end of this."
The girl gets up and starts to get dressed. The Rabbi turns to her and
says, "Where are you going? I'm not angry with you."
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car
and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her
purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to
the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the
The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"
The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"
The Greek says "We had great Mathematicians"
The Italian says "We had the Roman Empire"
...and so on and so on and then the Greek says: "We invented sex"
The Italian says "That is true, but it was the Italians who
introduced it to women."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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