Today's jokes [5.14.11]
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A group of people were in a shipwreck and were stranded on an island.
The group consisted of 12 women and 1 man. After a few months, the women
grew horny and it was decided that the man needed to take two women a day
and they allowed him to have Sundays off.
One day on a day off, he was just relaxing when he noticed a boat nearing.
He felt hopeful that maybe they would be rescued, at last.
The boat was almost to the island when the guy noticed it was a man in the
boat. As he got out the first guy said "Oh my God buddy, am I ever glad to
see YOU, To which the second guy responded "Well alright sweetie! It's been
a long time for me too."
The first man exclaimed "Oh hell, there go my Sundays!"
A driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off:
"I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment,
and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses."
Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note:
"I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket,
I'll lose my job... Lead us not into temptation."
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
"Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital
how it happened.
He said, "I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang...
so instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear..."
"But how the heck did you burn the other ear?" The doctor asked.
"How do you think I called you people?"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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