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Today's jokes [5.13.11]

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Why do elephants paint thier testicles red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.

AND

What's the loudest noise in the jungle?

A Monkey eating cherries.

1. 




The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.

"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after
three." "Four," answers the boy.

"What comes after six?" "Seven."

"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?"

"A Jack."

2. 




Robert goes golfing every Saturday. One Saturday, he comes home three hours
late. His wife asks him, "What took you so long?"

The guy says, "That was the worst game of golf I've ever had. We got up to
the first tee, and Charlie hit a hole-in-one and immediately dropped dead
of a heart attack."

The guy's wife says, "That's terrible!"

The guy says, "I know. Then, for the rest of the game, it was hit the ball,
drag Charlie, hit the ball, drag Charlie, hit the ball, drag Charlie..."

3. 




"Hey Bill, I heard you can download the whole
Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet".
"No kidding? How much memory will it take up?".
"Not much, just two Bytes."

4. 




A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places" 

The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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