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Today's stories [4.21.11]

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Klatt was telling me about growing up in NYC, working at a 
local fruitstand.  An elderly woman came up to the stand 
asking if we had any "dates".  My friend and working partner
told her that we didn't have any "dates".  She then asked if we
had "nuts".  My friend said, "Ma'am, if we had 'nuts' then we've
have 'dates'."

1. 




Do you realize 25% of all married men kiss their wife good-bye 
when they leave the house?

Of these same men 90% will kiss their house good-bye when 
their wife leaves.

2. 




Foreshadow of Y2K?

In March 1992 a man living in Newton, near Boston,
received a bill for his as yet unused credit card
stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw
it away. In April he received another and threw that
one away, too. The following month the credit card
company sent him a very nasty note stating they were
going to cancel his card if he didn't send them
$0.00 by return of post. He called them, talked to
them, they said it was a computer error and told him
they'd take care of it.

The following month our hero decided that it was about
time that he tried out the troublesome credit card
figuring that if there were purchases on his account it
would put an end to his ridiculous predicament. However,
in the first store that he produced his credit card in
payment for his purchases, he found that his card had
been cancelled.

He called the credit card company who apologized for the
computer error once again and said that they would take
care of it. The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating
that payment was now overdue. Assuming that having spoken
to the credit card company only the previous day, the
latest bill was yet another mistake. So he ignored it, and
trusted that the company would be as good as their word
and sort the problem out.

The next month he got a bill for $0.00 stating that he had
10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take
steps to recover the debt. Finally giving in he thought he
would play the company at their own game and mailed them a
check for $0.00. The computer duly processed his account and
returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the credit
card company nothing at all.

A week later, the man's bank called him asking him what he was
doing writing a check for $0.00. After a lengthy explanation
the bank replied that the $0.00 check had caused their check
processing software to fail.

The bank could not now process ANY checks from ANY of their
customers that day because the check for $0.00 was causing
the computer to crash. The following month the man received
a letter from the credit card company claiming that his check
had bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he
sent a check by return of post they would be taking steps to
recover the debt.

The man, who had been considering buying his wife a computer
for her birthday, bought her a typewriter instead.

Sent by Marina

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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