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Today's stories [4.13.11]

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There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Tim Alley's 
Grocery Store. The owner Tim doesn't know what Junior's 
problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two 
bricks shy of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel. To prove it, 
sometimes they offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a 
dime. 

He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger.
One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, Tim got him off to one 
side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They 
think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. 
Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"

Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"

1. 




A business man called and had a question about the 
documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy 
discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. 
"Oh, no, I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to 
have one of those." I double checked, and sure enough, his 
stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've 
been to China 4 times and everytime they have accepted my 
American Express."

2. 




One guy was trying to fix a blocked pipe under the sink.
He disconnected the pipe and put a bucket under the basin to
catch all of the water.  While he was working, he realized 
the bucket was getting full so he took the bucket and emptied
back in the sink again

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
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This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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