Today's jokes [4.9.11]
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A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and
passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a
little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the
crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I
wish you could talk."
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and
"You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer.
Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.
"Well, did you see this?"
"Yes," motioned the monkey.
The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it
up by his mouth.
"They were drinking?" asked the officer.
The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his
"They were smoking marijuana?"
The monkey motioned "Screwing."
"They were screwing, too?" asked the astounded officer.
"Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking
and screwing before they wrecked."
"What were you doing during all this?"
"Driving" motioned the monkey.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a
train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
How do you know if your secretary’s having a bad day?
Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil
Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.
How to Hunt Elephants -- Comp Sci Style
Computer scientists hunt elephants using algorithm A:
1. Go to Africa
2. Start at the Cape of Good Hope
3. Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the
continent alternately East and West.
4. During each traverse
a. Catch each animal seen
b. Compare each animal caught to a known elephant
c. Stop when a match is detected.
Experienced computer programmers modify Algorithm A by
placing a known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the
algorithm will terminate.
Sent by Alex
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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