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Today's jokes [4.9.11]

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A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and 
passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a 
little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the 
crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I 
wish you could talk." 
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and 
down. 

"You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. 

Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.

"Well, did you see this?"
"Yes," motioned the monkey.
"What happened?"

The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it 
up by his mouth.

"They were drinking?" asked the officer.
"Yes."
"What else?"

The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his 
mouth.
"They were smoking marijuana?"
"Yes."
"What else?"

The monkey motioned "Screwing."
"They were screwing, too?" asked the astounded officer.
"Yes." 
"Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking 
and screwing before they wrecked."
"Yes."
"What were you doing during all this?"
"Driving" motioned the monkey.

1. 




A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a
train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

2. 




How do you know if your secretary’s having a bad day?

Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil 


3. 




Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.

4. 




How to Hunt Elephants -- Comp Sci Style
 
Computer scientists hunt elephants using algorithm A:
 
1.  Go to Africa
2.  Start at the Cape of Good Hope
3.  Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the
    continent alternately East and West.
4.  During each traverse
        a.  Catch each animal seen
        b.  Compare each animal caught to a known elephant
        c.  Stop when a match is detected.
 
Experienced computer programmers modify Algorithm A by
placing a known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the
algorithm will terminate.
 
Sent by Alex

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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