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Today's jokes [4.30.11]

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Two Polish guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding... "I'm not sure if
my future bride is a virgin or not."
His buddy replies, "Oh, there's an easy test for that.  All you need is
some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel.  You paint one ball red and
one ball blue.  On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says 'Those are
the funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!"

1. 




Q: What is worse than a dead dog on your piano?
A: An infected pussy on your organ.


2. 




There was this guy & he had just bought a brand new Farrari F-50 and he
was taking it for a cruise. He was stopped at a red light and this little boy on a
mopehead stopped next to him and was at awe over the car. He asked the
guy if he could ake a quick look inside and he agreed. Just as he was getting
out of the car the boy asked the man how fast his car could go and he said.
"oh, around 175-200. Want to see?" Of couse the boy nodded and waited
for the light to turn green. The man took off at a very high rate of speed. As
he was traveling down the road he saw a little light catching up with him and
then flew right past him. 'no! it couldnt be the boy on the mopehead could it?"
He asked to himself. Then the light came flying back and went way behind
him. The guy then ralized that it indeed WAS the boy on the mopehead. Then
the light started to catch up with him again. He slowed down a bit to catch up
with the boy to find out exactly how he got the little bike to go that fast and in
a stunned voice the boy looked at the man and siad.."Would you mind taking
my suspenders off your rear view mirror?" 

3. 




An ant and an elephant share a night of romance.  Next morning the ant
wakes up and the elephant is dead.  "Damn", says the ant, "one night
of passion and I spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"

4. 




What part of a woman does a man like looking at best?
The top of her head.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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