Today's jokes [4.16.11]
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A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when
they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the
following symbols in order of appearance.
1. A dog
2. A donkey
3. A shovel
4. A fish
5. A Star of David
They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at
least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece
of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from
all over the world came to study the ancient symbols.
They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss what
they could agree was the meaning of the markings. The President of
their Society stood up, pointed at the first drawing and said, "This
looks like a dog. We can judge that this was a highly intelligent race
as they knew how to have animals for companionship. To prove this
statement you, can see that the next symbol resembles a donkey, so,
they were even smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.
The next drawing looks like a shovel of some sort, which means they
even had tools to help them. Even further proof of their high
intelligence is the fish, which means that they had a famine that hit
the earth whereby the food didn't grow, they would take to the sea for
food. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they
were evidently Hebrews."
The audience applauded enthusiastically, the President smiled and
said, "I'm glad to see that you are all in full agreement with our
Suddenly a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and
said, "I object to every word. The explanation of what the writings
say is quite simple. First of all, everyone knows that Hebrews don't
read from left to right, but from right to left... Now, look
again..... It now says:
"HOLY MACKEREL, DIG THE ASS ON THAT BITCH!"
During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he
was falling back during a really fierce battle. "Didn't you hear
me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?"
The Marine replied, "I got my four Sir."
What happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in Spring
A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to.
He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said, "I'm moving here from the
city, what do you guys do around here?"
The men answered, "Go hunt'n, kill things, 'n screw".
He then asked, "What do you hunt and kill?"
The men replied, "Sumt'n ta screw."
What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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