Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [4.16.11]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


    A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when
   they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the
   following symbols in order of appearance.
   1. A dog
   2. A donkey
   3. A shovel
   4. A fish
   5. A Star of David
   They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at
   least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece
   of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from
   all over the world came to study the ancient symbols.
   They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss what
   they could agree was the meaning of the markings. The President of
   their Society stood up, pointed at the first drawing and said, "This
   looks like a dog. We can judge that this was a highly intelligent race
   as they knew how to have animals for companionship. To prove this
   statement you, can see that the next symbol resembles a donkey, so,
   they were even smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.
   The next drawing looks like a shovel of some sort, which means they
   even had tools to help them. Even further proof of their high
   intelligence is the fish, which means that they had a famine that hit
   the earth whereby the food didn't grow, they would take to the sea for
   food. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they
   were evidently Hebrews."
   The audience applauded enthusiastically, the President smiled and
   said, "I'm glad to see that you are all in full agreement with our
   interpretations."
   Suddenly a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and
   said, "I object to every word. The explanation of what the writings
   say is quite simple. First of all, everyone knows that Hebrews don't
   read from left to right, but from right to left... Now, look
   again..... It now says:
   "HOLY MACKEREL, DIG THE ASS ON THAT BITCH!"


1. 




During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he 
was falling back during a really fierce battle. "Didn't you hear 
me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?" 

The Marine replied, "I got my four Sir." 

2. 




   
   What happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in Spring
   training.


3. 




A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to.
He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said, "I'm moving here from the
city, what do you guys do around here?"
The men answered, "Go hunt'n, kill things, 'n screw".
He then asked, "What do you hunt and kill?"
The men replied, "Sumt'n ta screw."

4. 




What is the difference between a dog and a fox? 

Eight beers. 

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 April '11 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
               1  2  
3  4  5  6  7  8  9  
10 11 12 13 14 15 16 
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 
24 25 26 27 28 29 30 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.