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Today's quotes [3.14.11]

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A hospital is a place where men keep asking the nurses
for dates and the nurses keep giving them prunes. 

1. 




If you can't get your books or receipts to balance out,
here's a useful term vending machine distributors rely
on: "Slug Factor." 

    - Rich Hall 

2. 




Try calling up strangers in the phone book and forgiving them.
Not only will it loosen you up for the crucial real thing, the
strangers will feel better. Everyone likes to know they're forgiven. 

    - Rich Hall 

3. 




"If infinite rednecks fired infinite shotguns at an infinite number of road
 signs, they'd eventually create all the great literary works of the world in
 braille."
                        -- Discordian Quote File


4. 




"Whoa Jesus!"
"Yes Dad?"
                        -- me, Daniel


5. 



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